I was recently talking to a colleague about a position she was applying for, and she commented how she hoped they didn’t throw all sorts of bizarre terms at her she wouldn’t understand. This being a sort of Internet-involved job she was going for, I could only imagine some of the lingo she was worried about. To be honest, I’ve made fun of some of their terminology, as we all probably have. Who walks around in their right mind talking about java and cookies? Come on, are these people programmers or chefs?

But as easy as it is to make fun of techies’ names for things, we engineers aren’t a lot better. We routinely deal with bizarre sounding items, from crankshafts to pressure vessels. We hardly give a passing thought when talking about squirrel cage motors, although a passing PETA activist might be horrified.

We also seem to be compelled to use body parts in our descriptions of things, what with the lips, bladders, and face seals we’re always discussing. The stereotype of engineers being sex-starved geeks isn’t true, despite our constant throwing around of terms like nipples, glands, diaphragms, male- and female-ends, and whatnot. I assure you this is mere coincidence. Trust me.

I wonder if Jerry Garcia’s father may have been an electrical engineer, musing about a deadband problem one night, when his teenage son came in from the garage and overheard him. Could that have been some sort of historical, cosmic moment of revelation? Or perhaps the senior Mr. Garcia was wrestling with a pot issue on the job. Mind you, I’m talking about potentiometers here. Maybe his son didn’t get that connection, as he developed a pot issue of a slightly different nature.

We use all sorts of weird words in our daily engineer-speak, from decay to horsepower, flexing to shrinkage, bleed flow to bang-bang valves. We talk about vacuum, slugs, and boots, but we mean vastly different things than a second grader does when using the same words.

What are your favorite terms or slang in the fluid power or greater engineering world? Have you ever been overheard by a friend, neighbor, spouse, and they asked you what the heck you were talking about? Or are there other industries that are even worse? (Drug makers and NASA scientists immediately come to mind.) I’m interested to know what phrases amuse you. Post your responses here, and the laughs will build faster than you can gang-mount a pump.